Did I mention yet that I acquired a new horse?
His name is Deuce. He’s supposed to be my daughter’s horse. But she was out of town for about a week right after we got him and in the interest of getting him acclimated to the neighborhood I was gonna go out for a quick ride one evening.
Now…please don’t get the wrong impression…I can ride. I’ve been riding horses since I was a kid. I rode bulls for about a year when I was 18-19 (thinking rodeo was the best way to kill two birds with one stone: do something wildly fun AND have lots of hot women wanting to ride me–instead I almost killed myself–via bull, not woman)…ok, ok, can’t ride bulls very well but I CAN RIDE A HORSE, I SWEAR!
Let me say this out loud: Deuce is mostly a huge doofus and is not the dominant horse in my two-horse herd. Read: 1,300 pound submissive wimp.
So I hop up in the saddle that evening and then the next thing I know, my neighbor from across the street is waking me up from a nap–and I was dreaming dammit! … I have no clue what went down (besides me) between the time my ass hit the saddle and my neighbor was rudely disturbing a nice nap.
It took me a few minutes to get up and I muddled around…the horse was snacking on the neighbor’s flower bed and a mere tap on the feed bucket motivated him to come swiftly back to the barn. I know I unsaddled him, etc. but I don’t remember much of it. My neighbor called my buddy that lives with me and that’s probably the only time in recent history he’s cut short his gym session.
The ride to the hospital ER was…forgettable–forgotten…but I distinctly remember being dropped off at the door while the truck was parked and I staggered up to the triage desk or whatever you call it. Head injuries tend to get you quick admittance, even if there’s no visible blood. I staggered to one of the curtained off exam areas and proceeded to develop a severe aversion to all things brighter than a nightlight.
X-rays and CT scans showed no broken bones but I did still have a slight concussion…doc said go home, rest, take some vicoden and call me in the morning…
That happened last summer. Luckily insurance paid the $5000 ER bill. Me and the horse have kissed and made up. He doesn’t hold it against me. Daughter has ridden him a bajillion times since.
It’s all good. I might try riding bulls again even.
